Marriage wasn’t built for intimacy, it was built for real estate.
Ancient societies needed a secure environment and a system of rules to handle the granting of property rights and the perpetuation of bloodlines.
And so, couples tied the knot out of social and economic stability, not necessarily love and desire.
It’s so romantic.
Of course, that was hundreds and even thousands of years ago. Modern couples now have the opportunity to use their relationships for a much more meaningful purpose, which is to create a path to personal growth.
The relationship allows these two people to be connected to each other through intimacy.
It allows them give and receive support to ease the burdens of life and enhance the enjoyment of living.
It allows them to give and receive the reality of each other without the need to judge or fix it.
It allows them to share the mysteries of life as they unfold, starting a conversation that never ends.
What a wonderful adventure to intimately participate in the journey of a fellow soul. It makes us think to ourselves, wow, we can’t wait to see what’s around the next corner, and what a thrill to be with a person who’s up for it.
The relationship gives us hope that challenges will be met with courage, strength and grace. Because anything that happens outside our relationship can be healed within it.
Somatica published a compelling essay on intimacy found that once of the reasons long term relationships provide us with such a huge opportunity to grow is because they cause us to face our deepest longings and fears as we connect with another human being whose needs, feelings and desires differ from ours.
That was actually something my marriage counselor warned me about. That before getting married, you rarely delve into your complexities. But once you cross that threshold and fully embrace the partnership and start bumping up against something solid, you truly learn who you really are. Which, in my case, is someone who farts too much.
But through your closeness to someone, you are instantly confronted by a new awareness of yourself. And like having a color television set, you never want to go back to black and white.
Now that’s romantic.
LET ME ASK YA THIS...
Is your relationship a constant struggle, or a pathway to joy, intimacy and growth?* * * *
That Guy with the Nametag
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