Part of setting
healthy boundaries is being okay with other people’s discomfort.
you can’t take responsibility for everybody’s feelings, but you stand up for
yourself anyway, because it means that you’re creating a life that matches your
vision of principled living.
I’ve always wrestled with this issue. And not
because I have a need to be liked by everybody, but because I have a fear of
being seen as an asshole by anybody.
It’s too conflicting with my self concept.
Even if Iamstanding up for my
boundaries in the moment, there’s still a small slice of my psyche that feels
guilty and needs confirmation that I’m not an jerk for doing so.
reassurance, my skin starts to flush and fear soaks my back and a ripple of
panic shoots through my body and I spiral into an anxious ruminative loop that
leaves me awash in neurosis and regret. Because the last thing I need is the
world thinking that I’m someone who treats people as invisible, as long as he
gets what he wants.
obsessive compulsive disorder just enchanting? Of course, it’s all in my head.
It’s just a story I’m telling myself. And it’s pure fiction. As a friend of
mine likes to reminds me:
When you start to feel bad about yourself, find the
Will saying no to this person tilt the world on its axis? No.
humans die when I abide by my needs instead of theirs? No.
Will standing up for
my boundaries in this moment be captured on video and leaked to the press and
go viral and destroy my career? No.
And here’s why. Most people are too busy,
too inundated with information and too focused on their own work to even
notice. Odds are, they’re not even thinking about me and worrying about what I
think and concerned with how I feel.
because I spent all that time worrying about it, doesn’t mean I’ve earned
Remember,when you start to feel bad about yourself, find the
lie. It works.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What fictional story are you telling yourself?
LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren’t One,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!
* * * *
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.
Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.
Now booking for 2017-2018.
Email to inquire about fees and availability. Watch clips of
The Nametag Guy in action here!