Choking someone with a phone charger

Anger is not a primary emotion. 

It’s a defensive feeling that protects another feeling, like fear or loss or a combination thereof. 

And yet, it’s gift. Anger asks us to take action on our own behalf. It’s the emotional stairway that takes us down to more interesting and vulnerable places. ‘

Deida, in his provocative book about unquenchable love, reminds us that anger can provide us with the sharp thunder necessary to awaken from moody distraction, and we can use it cut through the momentum and plunge to the heart of this moment. 

Consider this list of examples. 

When we get sick for a week and become enraged at our crippling allergies, could it be that we feel afraid that we’re not as healthy as we thought we were? 

When we get cut off by our asshole boss during a presentation and start retaliating with snide, passive aggressive comments, could it be that we feel a loss of power?

When a mediocre competitor gets their own network television show and we have the urge to rip the fan out of the ceiling, could it be that we feel sad about our own level achievement? 

When our coworker holds a brainstorming meeting without us and it makes us want to choke them with a phone charger, could it be that we feel lonely and isolated? 

Anger, then, is the catalyzing force. An expression of something deeper that’s worth exploring. 

Next time you have an experience that makes your face feel like it could heat soup, use your anger to walk down the staircase to the more interesting place. 


What if all the things that make us angry lie inside of ourselves?* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.

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