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Goffman’s social psychology research found that true identity is formed when people assert pride in the thing that made them marginal.  When they realize, oh wow, what I thought was wrong with me, that thing that everybody always used to make fun of me for, is actually the very gift that I can use to belong to and create value for the world.  What a glorious relief. Sweet liberation. Especially in…

Frankl famously said that to live is to suffer, but to survive is to find meaning in the suffering.  The key word, of course, is find. Which suggests a significant amount of intellectual and existential work. Searching for aspects of our circumstances that we can view as gifts to be treasured. Forgiving reality for being what it is, but then cognitively reframing the story we tell ourselves about what…

Here’s what I’m searching for in life.  Moments when I suddenly know a different sense of living. Experiences when everything I thought I knew about my life comes to an end. When all my little rules go out the window. Milestones when I awake to a new sense of a responsibility, feel a fresh sense of energy flowing through me and start walking down a path toward a better…

We don’t always have to bring knowledge to the path.  Sometimes we simply have to trust that the function of the path is to equip us with what we need, and the moment we announce to the world that we’re ready to take that pivotal first step, the path will being to illuminate itself.  But the terrifying part is, we have to commit. We have to believe that the…

The paradox of the banking world is, in order to secure a loan, you must first prove you don’t need it.  That’s why the entrepreneur who shows up at his local branch with a coherent business plan, a high credit score, organized bank statements, tons of pay stubs, substantial industry knowledge, significant collateral and a twenty percent down payment, almost always qualifies for the loan.  Because the fact that…

Here’s the interpersonal mistake most of us make.  We treat people the way we think they deserve to be treated.  When somebody is cold or rude or uncaring towards us, we vindictively decide that we’re going to teach them a lesson. We’re going to give people what’s best for them. We’re going to show them the light and help them see what we want them to see so they’re never…

Camus, the original gangster of absurdist philosophy, once said that all great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning.  He believed that true groundbreaking ideas were often born out of unknown and unsuspected venues, like a street corner or in a restaurant’s revolving door. And they arrived outside the frames of man’s plans and intentions.  So small and so simple and so innocuous, that they didn’t even…

The average person knows what they should be doing. They know that they want to do it.  But the problem is, they’ve already convinced themselves that they can’t. They’ve gone under hypnosis.  And so, the only remaining route to real change is through tension. Because it possesses its own generative drive, which gives rise to an impetus to move toward a resolution.  Louie’s comedy special perfectly summarizes his version of this…

Nobody has a monopoly on joy.  It hides everywhere. Often in plain sight. Following us like a shadow.  Life is bursting at the seams with it, and each one of us has the ability to extract this most precious gift from the world, even from sources that were not intended for us at all.  But we have to orient ourselves toward it. We need agency over it. We must…

The most valuable skill is learning how to concentrate.  Mastering the ability to lock in at a moment’s notice, anytime, anywhere, and get to work.  That’s what you notice about high performers in almost every industry. They have control over their psychic environment. They take extreme responsibility for the energy they bring to the world. And they take little time to bring their brain up to operating temperature.  That way,…