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I have a friend who suffers from mental illness.  Her daily life is littered with psychological triggers. And so, part of her recovery practice is to avoid stimuli that might trigger her addictive behavior.  One of the ways she accomplishes this is by deputizing her husband to screen her emails. Every day, he sifts through her inbox, searching for urgent or important messages that require his wife’s attention, but also…

The easiest thing to do is to prosecute ourselves for crimes past. To feel regretful for not taking a stand when we were young.  When the reality is, we were so innocent and naïve and trusting back then. We didn’t know any better. We didn’t have words and names for our feelings at that age. Our language was far too small and unsophisticated to contain those experiences.  And so, as…

The secret to a good practical joke is time, effort and thoughtfulness.  Showing someone you care about that they’re worth having fun with and bringing joy to.  On the other hand, loosening the cap from the pepper shaker right before your friend spices her soup, that’s not funny, that’s just cruel. And unoriginal. And it spoils the meal. There’s no intention of attention behind that. You’re just being a…

On the one side of the emotional spectrum, there’s joy and meaning and delight and fulfillment.  These are the moments when we’re at our best and highest. We feel so alive that we could take on the world.  On the other end of the emotional spectrum, there’s apathy and disgust and sadness and dread.  These are the moments when we’re at our worst and lowest. When we feel like…

My mentor loves to tell the story about his first job right out of the army.  Honolulu’s military base had a job opening that was perfect for him. The opportunity was too good to pass up.  And so, after a few weeks of interviewing, he got the job, relocated his family to the tropics and started a new life on the island.  What’s interesting is how he described the…

I have a friend whose unique talent is his ability to give acknowledgment.  To make you feel seen and heard and capable and empowered to become what you never thought you could be.  Part of that gift, of course, is his quiet, calm voice. He doesn’t have an angry bone in his body. And so, when he sits down with you and whispers words of encouragement, gently pointing out…

Be radically honest when most people would say nothing.  It’s a simple but scary notion.  Because in many cases, we’re afraid to be honest for fear that someone won’t like us. But the reality is, in that moment of silence, there’s likely to be some tension in the air. And if we can be the brave person who relieves it, all is forgiven.  In my experience, radical honesty when…

Shaw famously said that the biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred.  And that’s where we get ourselves in trouble. Instead of actually communicating, doing the work of teaching others about who we are and what we need and what makes us tick, we’re merely acting. Symbolizing things. Going through the motions and expecting our messages to be received loud and clear, but the moment they’re…

When you interact with a friend’s baby and it suddenly starts crying, you don’t take it personally.  You don’t get all defensive and suspicious and cynical, ruminating to yourself, man, that baby is out to get me. Little punk doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.  Instead, you simply look for the benevolent, human explanations for that child’s behavior.  Aww, he must be hungry or cold or tired or restless or…

All great ideas feel daunting at first. But a single soul with faith in that idea can reinvents an entire marketplace.  Secondly, if everybody thinks your idea is crazy, you just might be onto something. And so, it’s worth taking every idea and vision at least one step, just in case.  Third, most innovators never intend to start a business until they came up with good ideas that the people…