When someone crosses our boundaries, we don’t have to be polite. 

We don’t owe them an explanation. It’s not our job to preserve their feelings and manage their emotions. And we’re not responsible for their reactions to the boundary we’re setting. 

What we do have to do is stand up, speak out and stop it. Even if it’s as simple as saying something like this. 

Whoa, hold on, let’s talk about what’s happening here, because this is not okay. 

That’s enough. It’s simple, direct, powerful and honest. It communicates our needs and expectations. We’re not telling people how to run their lives, we’re telling them how we live ours. 

I once had a massage therapist whose arms looked like legs. Which appeared to be a good sign when I first laid down on the table. But her touch was so intense and aggressive that it actually stopped being relaxing and starting being painful. 

I even requested lighter pressure multiple times, but she just kept smiling and told me to relax. 

Pain is beauty. In my country, this good massage. 

It was a highly vulnerable moment. Because there were power dynamics between us. She was the professional trained expert, and I was the civilian. She was the service provider, and I was the paying customer. She was two hundred pounds of ferocious communist muscle, and I was not. 

What would you have done? 

Eventually, though, enough anger and discomfort amassed that I rolled over, looked her right in the face and said. 

You’re hurting me. This massage is over. Please leave. 

She nodded and slowly backed out of the room, while my pulse raced out of control and my body began sweating profusely. 

Holy shit. That was intense. Where did that come from? 

Wow. Something very deep inside of me must have been triggered, because in that moment, I managed to overcome my usual codependent personality and stand up for my boundaries in a very difficult situation. 

Not to mention, speak to the manager and get a refund for the massage. 

In my country, pain isn’t beauty, integrity is. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Will you defend your boundary now that you have set it? * * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!

Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs.

Criticizing is a cozy defense against joy. 

It’s a strategy that we use to protect our egos and assert our intelligence and make ourselves feel strong. 

When really, we’re just attached to our own cleverness. Hanging onto it like a life preserver, believing that without it we will surely drown. 

After all, who are we without all of our brilliant remarks and precious opinions? We simply must be spectacular to be safe in this world. We simply must play our special role as the insightful outsider who observes and judges everything. Otherwise we will be forgotten and left behind. 

The other option is to choose. To surrender into the moment. To ease into our humanity. And to allow the world to soften our hearts like a meat tenderizer. 

It’s a much more vulnerable place to be, but as long as we suspend our critical minds long enough, joy can have free reign. 

Bruyere, the famous moralist and philosopher, once said that the pleasure of criticizing robs us of the pleasure of being moved by some very fine things. 

And so, the choice is always ours. 

We can enjoy the things other people create, without the compulsive need to spot check everything for imperfections and inconsistencies. 

We can cry and let our tears honor the things we love, without draining everything of its power to affect us. 

We can allow ourselves to experience the aesthetic arrest of beauty, without always asserting our opinions and judgments. 

It depends how vulnerable we’re willing to be. Sure, it’s much easier to be a critic than a celebrator. But then again, how many critics do you remember from the last century? 

The point is, enjoying is one of those gifts we give to ourselves. And so, next time you reach for your critical arrow, consider making yourself open, raw, tender and real by loving something instead. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

What is your best defense against joy?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!

Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs.

Hemingway once said there is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. 

This task is simple but not easy. And it all goes back to our ability to not let the past control us anymore. 

Imagine how many limits we put on ourselves when we were young and didn’t know any better. Think about all of those wonderful adventures we passed up because we couldn’t let go of our attachments. Consider all the things that were absolutely necessary for us yesterday, but may not even be relevant today. And ponder the psychic weight of all of the inheritances we still carry from our childhood. 

What a heaping shit ton of emotional baggage. 

And yet, we refuse to let it go. Because we’re afraid. 

Afraid of outgrowing our shoes because we assume there’s no money for new ones. Afraid of dying to our former selves and facing the person we are in the process of becoming. 

After all, who among us would surrender the familiar misery of the past for the frightening uncertainty of the future? 

However, if we have any intention of being nobly superior to our former selves, we have an obligation to call bullshit on our own egos. To take those old parts of ourselves, look them over, honestly ask if they still work for us, and then decide whether to keep them or let them go. 

It’s scary, but it’s the only path to freedom. 

We must let go of our socially fabricated identity and reveal the real human being beneath. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Are you still clinging to that funny little self that gives you some kind of certainty? 

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!

Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs.

What if we deployed nano technology solutions for kitchen crunchies? 

What if sports arenas hired crowd profanity police? 

What if complaining made your pants fit better? 

What if people who wore eye patches had their own baths? 

What if we operationalized primal grooming?

In this episode of Steal Scott’s Ideas, Ben, Danielle & Brittany gather in Brooklyn for some execution in public.

**Sponsored by Baggit

---

Execution Lesson 110: When we dash away from ideas too fast

It’s true that language is a powerful lever for changing the world around us.

But it’s also true that words can be twisted to match any desire we have, and interpreted to justify any action we take.

In fact, many of our greatest revelations occur in speechless moments when we perceive things greater and beyond the sum total of all words.

That’s one of the great joys of songwriting. People feel our music before they listen to it. 

Unlike prose or poetry or other types of one dimensional compositions, our medium of song isn’t under as much pressure to make sense or prove anything or even mean anything.

Because it has layers. It relies on the rhythm and melody to do most of the heavy emotional lifting. That’s where the real magic comes from. The words are almost pedestrian at that point.

Hell, the best songwriter in rock history famously used the word scrambled eggs as his working title to hold the music and phrasing in place until he found a suitable replacement. 

And once he substituted it with the word yesterday, it became the most covered song of all time.

Think of it this way. Ever realized that you have been singing the wrong words to a popular song your whole life? Once you learned the correct lyric, did you change the way you sang it?

Of course not. Because all that mattered was how the song made you feel while you sang it.

Remember, words are chewed gum. Don’t allow yourself to get trapped in a language with too little imagination.

Release the grip of neurons on all your small thoughts. And excuse me while I kiss this guy.

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Do you have the strength and the love to sit in the silence that goes beyond words?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!

Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs. 

Love addiction is defined as a compulsive, chronic craving and pursuit of romantic love in an effort to get your sense of security and worth from another person. 

It’s when we act out a misguided search for some kind of love at any price. Allowing the neurotic fantasy script inside our heads to be the arbiter of our reality. 

It’s not clinically recognized as a mental disorder or addiction by the psychological powers that be, but that doesn’t make it any less harmful. Ask anyone who’s ever been in a relationship where they were the only one in love. It sucks. 

Woody was right when he observed that unrequited love kills more people each year that tuberculosis. 

And so, consider the following thought experiment. 

Do you personify love addiction mindsets and behaviors in your career? 

Because whether you’re running your own company, searching for a new job or gainfully employed by an organization, your own maladaptive passion related behaviors could cause significant mental and emotional distress. 

For all parties involved. Not only you, but also the prospects, clients and colleagues to whom you have become addicted. 

Speaking from my own experience as an entrepreneur and employee and job seeker, I’ve seen firsthand the dangers of becoming trapped in a spiral of obsession, locked away in my closet of career fantasies. It’s bad times. 

The following questions are meant to be a simple guideline to help business professionals start a meaningful conversation about love addiction. 

Will you chase after prospective clients who have consistently rejected you and desperately try to change their minds? 

Do you become so attracted to a new business opportunity that you ignore all the warning signs that the project is not good for you? 

Will you allow a client to keep kicking you in the balls, but still never get the point? 

If courting a prospective customer, do you quickly become clingy and smothering, persisting until the people either hire you or die? 

Will you become preoccupied, obsessed and attached to what every new career opportunity could mean for you? 

Do you dream that if some company only discovered just how special and talented you are, you would be happy for the rest of your life? 

Have you ever tried to talk yourself into doing business with someone you weren’t particularly fond of because you needed the work right now? 

Have you ever lost a job and believed that you could not go on living without the object of your love addiction? 

Have you convinced yourself that there’s just one special client or company in the world that you can be truly have a rewarding career with? 

Do you think you are less of a real person or somehow incomplete without a full work plate? 

Remember, there’s no right answer and there’s no winning score. The purpose of this thought experiment is to start a conversation with yourself about your potentially maladaptive behaviors. 

Because as my therapist once reminded me, if you’re still picking up your ex at the airport six years after she broke your heart, you might have some work to do.

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

When will you have achieved enough professionally to be happy with who you are?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!

Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs.

Here’s a personal mantra that helped me accept and accommodate my own codependent tendencies. 

Hell isn’t other people, hell is trying to change them. 

It works wonders on the ego. 

Of course, there’s another side to that relational coin. One that can easily be overlooked. And that’s my willingness to accept people when they do change. 

It’s part of the package, as my grandfather loves to say. 

We learn to tolerate, enjoy and applaud the growth of those closest to us. 

Love me, love my changes. 

It’s like the brilliant article that aggregated advice from over six hundred years of marriage. Dozens of successful couples filled out surveys and shared their smartest piece of relationship insight. Here’s the one that captured my attention most:

You can’t change your partner, and you can’t change yourself. But both of you will change. Don’t expect to stay married to the same person. All marriages are a series of marriages. 

Therefore, we allow our partners to change and grow without taking it personally. Because we trust that they’re not saying no to us, they’re saying yes to themselves. 

That’s how we keep the fire of our commitment alive. By being understanding of the changes, accepting of the growth the other and being willing to say yes to each other’s joys. Even if that means cutting attachment to what we think we must have in order to be happy in the relationship. 

It’s like a friend of mine once told me:

I get tired of hearing that people never change. People only change, that’s all they do. 

Love me, love my changes. It’s all part of the package.

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

How are you navigating times of differently paced growth in your relationships?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!

Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs.

Tell me if this sounds familiar. 

You’re working on a train wreck of a project. Or managing the customer from hell. Or giving a presentation to an audience of crickets. 

And there’s nothing you can do about it. 

There’s no escape. A cold finger of dread hooks around your heart, panic soaks your skin and waves of anxiety start traveling up and down your spine. You’re completely trapped. Frozen at the point of existential resignation. 

That dreadful space where you stand in disbelief at your circumstances, paralyzed under the weight of helplessness and you think to yourself, I just want to run away and hide from the world. 

It’s the worst. The worst. And your experience isn’t even painful. Pain left town a while ago. In this space, what you’re left with is a quieter, more insidious feeling. Pain’s third cousin. 

Numbness. The anti feeling. Blech. 

It reminds me of a mantra we repeat at yoga studio during some of the longer and more challenging postures. 

The only way out is through. The only way out is through. 

Meaning, our acceptance of the situation doesn’t mean we approve of it, or that we like it, or that we don’t want it to change. It simply means that we stop trying to deny reality and acknowledge what is instead. 

Then, we put our helplessness behind us. We go straight through the difficult moment without yielding to the urge to escape. And we go finish this thing we started, to the best of our abilities. 

Only way out. 

If you’re going to do it, walk through it. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Where are you shirking or shrinking back from the implied responsibilities of our lives?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!

Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs.

Marx predicted that power would go to those who owned the means of production. 

What he didn’t anticipate, though, was that technology would evolve to a point where the means of production, the instruments of labor, would become simple, free, fast and everywhere. 

Thanks to the miracle of digital technology, now anybody can make anything for nothing. Anybody can share anything with anybody for nothing. Creation and distribution have been democratized. 

Which means, if there’s something you want to make, but you still haven’t shipped yet, it’s not a problem of production, it’s a problem of permission. 

Your thing doesn’t exist in the real world because some psychological block inside your head won’t allow it to. 

Buddhists would tell you to attack the corners. To start with the little things that stick out, and then work your way into the big things. 

It’s a very useful approach if you’re already predisposed to execution. 

But if your mind is still attached to the world of thoughts and ideas, it may never happen. 

I have multiple colleagues who have been working on the same project for literally a decade. And not some super ambitious, million dollar endeavor that requires ten years of laboring in obscurity. 

This is a one page website for god’s sake. 

The point is, they’re putting off action to a day that never arrives. And it’s not my job to judge, rescue or educate anybody. Only notice. 

Awareness is always the first, the hardest and the most important step. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

What is the reality you need to face in order to follow through?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!

Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs.