Excuse me, I need to leave now

Codependence sells, but we don’t have to buy. 

With the help of a simple seven word sentence, we stand up for our boundaries proactively and prolifically. 

Instead of slavishly catering to anyone who will notice us, we simply say, excuse me, I need to leave now

Instead of feeling guilty unless we say yes to everything that everyone expects of us, we simply say, excuse me, I need to leave now. 

Instead of being scared to walk away from people or situations that cause us discomfort, we simply say, excuse me, I need to leave now.  

Instead of instantly agreeing to unsafe and unreasonable invitations, we simply say, excuse me, I need to leave now. 

Instead of always being the ones who must run to meet life with a smile that says, I’m happy to be here, we simply say, excuse me, I need to leave now. 

Instead of saying, okay, well, just this once, and then drowning in the feeling of being invaded, we simply say, excuse me, I need to leave now. 

And the best part is, when we say these seven magic words, we don’t have to explain or justify our feelings to anyone. We are not responsible for convincing the world of what we believe to be true. And it’s not our job to help everyone understand us. 

We simply walk away and remove ourselves. 

And now if you’ll excuse me, I need to leave now. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS...

If there’s no pleasing these people anyway, then why are we knocking ourselves out attempting to try? 

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

scott@hellomynameisscott.com

www.nametagscott.com


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Unfurnishing the cluttered nervous room of your mind

There are few rituals as physically satisfying, spiritually cleansing and emotionally liberating as getting rid of a bunch of stuff. 



It’s pure catharsis. There’s simply nothing better than purging from your life piles and bags and stacks of things that are old and broken and gross and useless and frankly, unnecessary. 



And what’s interesting is, as the objects are excised, so are the emotions attached to them. 



Like the things that served you at one point, but have since outlived their usefulness, and now only remind you of a former version of yourself. 



Or the things that people gave to you years ago, that were never asked for, but you still kept on the shelf to appease their feelings and soothe your guilt. 



Or the things that worked once but are no longer helping, and were only kept around because of superstition or paranoia. 



They all have feelings attached to them. And once you’re willing to let them go, all of those feelings evaporate along with them. 



Our homes are no longer littered with things we don’t need to have, and our spirits are no longer cluttered with feelings we don’t need to feel. 



Listen to me. You don’t need the complete set to feel secure and safe. You don’t need another clever reason to lure people back to your apartment so they can inspect your carefully curated collection of cultural ephemera and then compliment you and what a thoughtful and brilliant and sensitive and love deserving person you are. 



Let it go. Throw it out. Purge often. 



You just might realize that you don’t need all those things for people to love you. 



LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Are you allowing guilt or fear to clutter your environment with things that sap your joy?


* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

scott@hellomynameisscott.com

www.nametagscott.com


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Open to changes that will heal me

What was necessary for us yesterday may not be what we need today. 

And that’s a good thing. 

In the same way that all love is saying yes to something, all change is saying goodbye to something. Letting go of an old belief, fear, story, self, identity, history or whatever else no longer serves us.

And finding value in our defects to the extent that we use them as a starting point on a pathway to better living. 

The key is, before we go stepping into a rushing river of change that will take us to new places, there are a few questions we should ask ourselves. 

Our marriage advisor challenged us with dozens of penetrating questions during our engagement. We literally had to write a list of things we needed to leave behind in order to become the partners we needed to be. All of the attitudes, behaviors, commitments and practices that would no longer be with us now. 

And that was scary. Nobody wants to confront the things they need to leave behind. But as she said, if we were going to cross the threshold and fully embrace the next phase of their lives, this was the necessary work. This was the kind of intention that would make us feel proud of the changes in our lives. 

Fair enough. Let the letting go begin. 

Think about what are you really willing to do to allow change to happen. Think about what you are really willing to give up to ensure your unfolding. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Is what you’re doing right now advancing you in the change you’re trying to make?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

scott@hellomynameisscott.com

www.nametagscott.com


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The letting loose of a heavy burden

Here are a few realizations that feel as soothing as
peanut butter covered velvet. 

There is no magic day when we will be normal. 



There is no distant future when everything will be wonderful. 



There is no need
to flatten out all of our rough spots and imperfections into a nice smooth
surface.



There is no point in waiting for a chance event to suddenly make
everything better. 

And, exhale. 

Feel the tremendous surge of relief, the
letting loose of a heavy burden, so that your spirits dance with joy.

It
reminds me of the brilliant question addicts ask each other in the recovery
movement. 

Are you striving for progress, or settling for nothing less than the
human impossibility of spiritual perfection? 

Hopefully the former. Because the
reality is, there is no normal. That’s just a word we use to beat ourselves up
with when our lives don’t compare to the superficial successes of others. 

And
so, the goal is not use our lapses as excuses to whip ourselves, rather, to
view them as reminders that we are not perfect and must continue to work. 

Wyatt
was accurate when he famously said, there is no such thing as a normal life,
there’s just life. 



LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Are you still seeking respite from your frailties?
* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

scott@hellomynameisscott.com

www.nametagscott.com


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More and more of my garden is weeded each time I look

Any time spent growing spiritually is sacred. 

Any day we expand our emotional range is a victory. 

Any bout of healing leads us closer to the life we really want.

Anything that helps us get to know ourselves better is never a waste of time. 

We always come out stronger on the other side. 

Hancock, the great innovator of modern jazz, recently wrote an open letter to the next generation of artists. His spoke about this very issue:



Every relationship, obstacle and interaction is a rehearsal for the next adventure in life. Everything is connected. Everything builds. Nothing is wasted. This type of thinking requires courage. You must never lose your sense of exhilaration and reverence for this wonderful world around you. 

And so, it all depends on whether or not we are willing to open our eyes, take a look and assume the responsibility. 

Here’s a helpful question that can reframe any experience into an awareness plan for never wasting anything:

How am I learning enough through this experience to consider it part of my education? 

With that kind of intention, everything is grist for the mill. 

More and more of our garden is weeded each time we look. 



LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Do you have an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility growth entails?* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

scott@hellomynameisscott.com

www.nametagscott.com


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Compromising our connection to ourselves

If you set a boundary with someone and they shame you for it, you need to set an even bigger boundary. 

By removing them from your life. 

It’s time to give your love to the one who needs it most, you. 

Even if you feel the sudden pang of the fear of missing out, stick a stake in the ground anyway. You have an obligation to yourself. 

I was recently watching a brilliant stage monologue delivered by a recovering addict who laughed:

If people hate you, you’re probably taking care of yourself. 

What a relief to know that you don’t have to spend the rest of your life being everywhere with everyone always and forever. What a glorious liberation to realize that that the heart has limits and you cannot care about everything. 

Think of it this way. Boundary systems are invisible and symbolic fences. And so, if somebody fails to read your warning sign that clearly states electric, and then gets shocked so hard that they pee their pants, that’s on them. 

Because you are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to the boundary you’re setting. 

You are only response for not compromising your connection to yourself. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Does the terror of hurting somebody and looking selfish keep you from setting boundaries?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

scott@hellomynameisscott.com

www.nametagscott.com

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Letting humans be human

I once heard a psychotherapist offer a brilliant piece of advice for connecting with people who are suffering from depression, anxiety or any other battle inside the mind. 



Instead of hitting people over the head with your brilliant insight, do everything in your power to let them know you’re not afraid of them. That’s fierce intimacy. Letting them know that their suffering is not a contagious disease you’re going to catch. Being present to them in a way that shows your trust in their confidence to make it through.

It’s a highly progressive approach to navigating interpersonal space. One that most of us aren’t using to practicing. 

Because instead of our typical codependent, competitive reaction, which is to help and fix and fight and solve, we actually make room for the pain of others instead of running from it. 

We give others the gift of space to express themselves completely. We let them cry without turning away from their tears. And we offer those around us full freedom to express their anger without walking away or rejecting them. 

That’s the person you want in you corner when everything goes to hell. Somebody brave enough to live with your terror. 

Somebody you can’t use as your one phone call in jail, because they’re sitting in the cell right next to you. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS...

What do you see when you see people? 

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

scott@hellomynameisscott.com

www.nametagscott.com


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We need to fight for our legitimate requirements

Each of us must grow more discriminating about what our capacity is. 

Without that boundary, we wind up exaggerating our real capabilities to please others. 

I’m reminded of something my boss said during a team meeting:

“It’s not a weakness to say there’s too much on your plate. You won’t get yelled at or get in trouble for saying, sorry guys, but I just don’t have the bandwidth to take anything else on right now.”

The entire room exhaled. Because in one sentence, he helped soothe away a lifetime of fears. 

Mainly of death. Because that’s the place our minds go. 

By saying no to this assignment:

We’ll be replaced

And forgotten

Go broke

Get divorced

Lose our families

Get kicked to the curb

Become homeless

Have a mental breakdown

Eventually die a horrible painful lonely death

Over a spreadsheet. 

And so, setting boundaries on our bandwidth truly is a courageous act. Because it requires the humility of knowing what our limitations are, along with the trust that we can reject people we care about without scaring them away forever. 

Remember, there will always be times when we need to fight for our legitimate requirements. 

Don’t feel feel guilty if you have done nothing wrong. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS...

How many false personalities have you constructed to protect yourself and please others?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

scott@hellomynameisscott.com

www.nametagscott.com


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Isolation is the dark room where we develop our negatives

Even when we do have many powerful reasons for isolating, burrowing under the
blanket and hiding from the day rarely brings us the kind of relief we need. 

Brooding about our circumstances, stewing with our feelings and sitting alone
and isolated, that usually just worsens our situation. It traps us in a sad
ruminative loop that pushes away the very type of connections that could
actually help alleviate our loneliness. 

And if we don’t open our eyes to this
harmful cycle, it becomes harder and harder to snap out of it. 

I once read that
the purpose of loneliness was to provide humans a transition to connection. 

It’s an interesting way to process at that feeling. Almost as a momentum
device. Because no matter how empty and sad that loneliness is, it’s still
energy. Which means it can be channeled. 

And that’s the moment. That’s the
pivot point when we can choose to live in a world with other people.

Next time the chilling vapor of loneliness begins to settle down, allow
yourself to feel those feelings, but then start converting that energy into
momentum. Use it to push your ass out the front door and rejoin the world. 

Your
soul with thank you. 

Remember, action is the magic word that gets the
interpersonal ball rolling. We must move. Otherwise the loneliness will deepen
and trap us in a desert of isolation where we might find our way out. 



LET ME ASK YA THIS...

What gives you the energy to leave your isolation?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

scott@hellomynameisscott.com

www.nametagscott.com


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Denying reality like it was his job

When it comes to addiction, most of us would rather look away than ever face it. 

But that’s its greatest strength. The ability to hide in plain sight. Not unlike the schoolyard bully, who is only as powerful as we are afraid of him, our addictions are only as dangerous as our ability to deny their existence. 

We’re only as a sick as our secrets, as they say in the recovery movement. 

The problem is, denial works. It works so well that we even deny denial. No wonder it’s affectionately called the longest river in the world. Denial is a critical part of the human coping mechanism. It helps us avoid everything from minor discomfort to mind blowing conflict. 

Thinking back to my years of workaholism, codependency and love addiction, it’s almost embarrassing how often my head was stuck in a cloudy fog of denial. You’d think multiple trips to the hospital for stress related illnesses would have been enough of a whack upside the head. 

But it wasn’t. Denial is that good at its job. 

Thankfully, though, a robust support system of friends, family members, mentors and therapists helped me wake up to the truth about my reality. Not immediately, of course. As my shrink told me:

It took a long time to get this way, and so, it’s going to take a long time to heal. 

But I made it out alive. Stumbling but surviving. And better for having gone through the journey. 

Look, everything that happens in our lives becomes part of us, and we take it with us into the future, whether we want to or not. May as well use it for growth. 

And so, if you realize that your addiction is talking to you, trying to tempt you into denying that you have one, have an honesty pow wow with five people you love and trust. Ask them to help you put aside whatever it is that’s getting in the way of doing the right thing for yourself. 

Because it’s hard to heal alone. 

Sometimes we need people to show us something we can’t see for ourselves for us to change forever.


LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Have you ever meditated on how good it will feel to finally stop your denying problems?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

scott@hellomynameisscott.com

www.nametagscott.com


It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!


Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs.

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