It’s So Easy to Make People Happy

We can never take away someone’s joy.

If doing something fills somebody’s spirit, captures her
imagination and makes her feel useful and important — and isn’t negatively
affecting the world — than we have no right to stand in their way. We have no
right to block their path of joy.

To do so insults their heart’s desire and robs them of their
humanity.

If somebody wants to spend four days preparing an elaborate
meal for the entire family, let them. If somebody wants to brag about you in
front of their friends, let them. If somebody wants to parade you around the
room just so everyone can see the glow you bring to the world, let them.

We all have to learn how to receive. To greet people’s gifts
with a welcoming heart and a thankful posture, remembering how easy it is to
make most people happy. And to accept people’s generosity with a humble spirit
and a respectful stance, remembering how beautiful it is when they have joy in
their lives.

The Belonging Sessions 005: Michael Piliero of Free Association

Free Association is a boutique digital agency in Brooklyn that partners with brands to deliver world-class digital experiences. They’re human friendly and they’re in the business of delivering experiences, not things.

I sat down with Michael Piliero, Creative Director, and
posed three crucial questions about belonging.

1. Good
brands are bought, but great brands are joined. Why do you think your employees join yours?

It’s a confluence of factors. First, we’re intentionally
small, progressive and focused on human centered design. We have really low
turnover. Second, we’re are able to create great digital products that are easy
to use. I’ve had exposure to large agencies with misalignment on point of view.
And I remember the question that first disrupted my thinking: “What do you
really, really want to do?” Most people don’t have an answer to that question.
For us, it’s driven a lot of change in the organization.       

                                 

2. The great workplaces of the world
have soul. What do you do to
humanize your culture? 

We have very few top down processes, strict procedures or
company outings with trust falls. We keep it pretty simple. We’ve assembled an
intentionally small team of unique and talented people. We eschew the layers
and politics you see at most agencies. And we inject a lot of green tea and turmeric
juice. Instead of playing telephone with a bunch of managers, we just let the
experts directly interface with clients and run the show. That’s what clients
want, but don’t get very often.                                 

3. Belonging
is a basic human craving. How do you
remind employees that they’ve found a home?

Natural human relationships are huge. And we let that happen
organically between owners and staff. We also put a lot of thinking into our
collective point of view and mission. That’s how we create significant positive
impact in the world. That’s how we wrangle complexity together. And while our
core clients are global corporations, we also do a lot of non-profit and
startup work too. The nature of the impact varies, but it’s always human
centered. All those factors, combined with our passion, come together to ignite
the tribe. That approach, the way it takes shape, sparks the feeling of
belonging – more than any human resources review would.  

Thanks Michael!

Meet the Free Association team here.                      

What We Really Need is a Good Low

Our species spends a lot of money trying to buy happiness.

And a lot of the time, it works. For a little
while.

But if nothing is ever wrong – something is
probably wrong.

Suffering is underrated. It’s a healthy, human reality. It’s
an essential part of the life experience. And if we’re trying to scrub our
world clean of it, we’ll never grow. We’ll never reach our full potential.

Sometimes, what we really need is a good low.

We need life to hand us a pile of shit.

Some situation, some feeling or some experience that calls
upon our resiliency. Something that tests us. Something that reminds us that
we’re alive and real and human and imperfect – and that with a little help from
our friends – we’ll pull through with flying colors.

Are we vulnerable enough to open ourselves to the low?

Are we thankful enough to give thanks when it comes?

Are we buoyant enough to bounce back when it goes?

Hope so.

Because it’s certainly a lot cheaper than buying another
pair of sandals.

Stumbling Into The Truth When We’re Not Looking

We rarely get what we signed up for.

We tend to come for
one thing and end up walking away with another.

But sometimes the best road to being reached is the one we
don’t see signs for. Expectation doesn’t always work to our advantage. In order
to find that tiny little thing that’s so big we can’t live without it, it’s
helpful if our guard is down. Surprise creates anxiety in the air, and that’s
best time to give someone new ideas.

So we stumble into the truth when we’re not looking. And if
we’re smart, if we’re open and if we’re lucky, we let it change us forever.

The Belonging Sessions 004: Melissa Silvers of Ready, Set Rocket

Ready Set Rocket creates ideas, nurtures them, proves them and puts them into action. They never stop making good ideas better.

I sat down with Melissa Silvers, their creative
director, and posed three crucial questions about belonging:

1. Good brands are bought, but great brands are joined. Why do you think
employees join yours?

Most people join a company for basic needs like salary
and benefits – and we do offer generous benefits and paid time off. But as a
boutique digital agency, we can also drive home more value than a benefits
package. We work in a sunny, dog-friendly loft in SoHo. That environment really
helps everyone knows each other intimately. So, we’re careful whom we bring in
on a fit level. Technical expertise is invaluable, but personality is the key
to someone not just joining our company but believing in it. We’re all geeks
who love knowledge, and we’re not afraid to tell candidates they’re not the
perfect fit. It’s the hardest part of hiring, but it makes for a stronger team.

2. The great workplaces of the world have soul. What do you do to
humanize your culture?

This isn’t a workplace where everyone has ear buds
on, lost in their own worlds. To humanize the office, we have speakers that blast a shared room
in Turntable.fm, so
everyone gets to share their music with the team (and turns into sing-alongs).
We have Tweet Battles with a point system. We have team snowboarding trips. We
will glitter bomb your desk if you get engaged. And our culture page is an
aggregated stream of employee Instagram feeds. Which is a risky disclosure, but
it’s also a compiled sense of who the team is visually. And that offers insight
to each individual person and their tastes. Ultimately, we value knowledge over
ego. We believe in transparency. There’s no information-withholding hierarchy.
Everyone is an expert on something. It doesn’t matter who’s at the table, a
good idea is a good idea. People feel valued, which is really the key to
humanizing any workplace.

3. Belonging is a basic human craving. How do you remind employees that
they’ve found a home?

New York is weird because few people here are
natives. I think that’s why the word family comes up so often when we get
together. At our organization, it’s closest thing some of us have to family in
the city. And that sense of belonging is an ongoing effort. We have office
dogs, who are just as much a part of the team as people. We have old employees
and former interns, who stop by just to hang out. We don’t just like the people we work with – we love them. Our
office isn’t the place you’re waiting to leave at the end of the day.

Thanks Melissa!

Meet the team at Ready, Set Rocket here.

A Young Artist’s Guide to Playing for Keeps, Part 22

You’ve chosen an uncertain path.

You’ve adopted an inconvenient lifestyle.

You’ve embarked upon an unconventional journey.

You’ve felt the voice inside you growing more urgent.

You’ve committed yourself enough so you can’t turn back.

IN SHORT: You’ve decided to play for keeps.

This is the critical crossroads – the emotional turning
point – in the life of every young artist.

And I’ve been there
myself.

From my latest book, Writing is the Basis of All Wealth, here’s a list of suggestions to help you along the
way: 

1. Make your audience your accomplice. First comes acceptance. That masturbatory art can only matter so much. That it’s hard to be creative alone. And that a
crowdsourced approach is usually worthwhile. Second comes surrender. Absolute
artistic vulnerability. Letting the audience in on the joke. Giving them
permission to become co-creators along with us. Third comes accessibility.
Keeping the loop open. Making it easy for the audience to tap into their
creative flair. Creating a forum for them to express themselves freely and
fully. Fourth comes expansion. Of access, not information. Continually creating
a playing field on which people can create, not a smorgasbord from which people
can consume. When we do this, when we stop setting off art in a corner and
start enlisting the world to help us create, everything changes. The work grows
stronger, the experience grows richer and the audience grows more devoted.
Everybody wins because everybody plays. Are
you sitting in a room alone stroking yourself?
 

2. The need for attention is not a low
impulse.
As a performer, I am not afraid to admit that I demand an
audience. When it comes to my readers, viewers, listeners or attendees, the
intention is clear: I want you to
miss me in your past. I want you to regret not meeting me sooner in your life.
And I want you to develop a crush on me that you can’t quite explain. I want you to believe you’re watching
a brain working. I want you to see that I am possessed. And I want you to
delegate certain chunks of you thinking to me. I want you to get used to me. I want to become a regular part of
your daily world. And I want you to make time in your busy life to visit the
world I’ve created. That way, for
the rest of my career, you’ll give anything I do a shot. Are you at peace with your need for attention? 

3. It’s not a blank page, it’s not a mirror.
That’s why we’re so afraid to sit down and write. It’s not the fear that our
work will suck. Or that nobody will read it. Or that people will read it, and
they won’t care. It’s the fear of confronting our own truth. The fear that,
once we stop editing ourselves – even for a moment – we might catch a glimpse
of how we really feel about something, and it might contradict what we thought
we believed. Forget about writer’s block, cognitive dissonance is the real
enemy. What are you afraid to confront? 

4. Creativity is about trying things.
First, we listen to our heart. We sit at the feet of that thing that sticks
inside of us and says now. And we put it out publicly so we can’t run away from
it, and so the world will conspire to help us achieve it. Next, we give
ourselves permission. We drop the illusions about what we can and can’t do. And
we knock down the inhibitors that stop us from pursuing something dopey,
different or whimsical. Then, we chase that idea down. We get experimental
without spending money. We fiddle around with things. And we execute small
steps that create the freedom to pause, test, reevaluate and adjust. Finally,
we listen for what sticks. We watch for what makes us think, Oh my god – that
counts? We ask ourselves: I wonder if I can take this further? And we become spawned
by the childlike desire to see how far it goes. What are you ready to finally try in your art? 

5. The best artists make art every day.
They make stuff and see what happens. They do the work and don’t think much
about it. They show up, bare down and push something out into the world that
matters to them, no matter what. And if they get heard, great. If they get
paid, even greater. But if they get nothing, that’s fine too. As artists, they
don’t do it for money or recognition, they do it because it’s their spiritual
imperative. They can’t not create like a rock can’t not fall off a cliff.
That’s why I publish a blog every day. That’s why I upload nametaglines every
day. That’s why I post adventures in nametagging stories every day. They’re not
just my daily gifts to the world, they’re contributions to my ongoing body of
work. They’re additions to my artistic legacy, building my lifelong portfolio.
And with every day that goes by, that reservoir grows bigger. That way, it’s
not just art, it’s an asset. And like a forced savings account, when the time
comes to make a withdrawal in the future, there will be enough of a surplus to
tap into and convert into something highly profitable. But it all starts with
the work I do today. What it becomes tomorrow isn’t my concern. Are you willing to let your art find its own
legs?

6. We don’t have to work for strangers
anymore.
Whether we’re performers, publishers, writers, creators or
entrepreneurs, there has never been a better time in history to go out and find
the audience for what we love, or, better yet, create the audience ourselves.
Now, instead of buying tickets for the lottery, instead of shooting for the
masses and instead of trying to be all things to all people, we can be
something important to a small group of people. We can do what we love, the way
we love doing it, for the people we love, who love the way we do it. The hard
part is giving ourselves permission to break free from the mediocrity of the
masses and pursue the glory of the nooks and crannies. What tribe loves you?

REMEMBER: When you’re ready to play for keeps, your work will never be the same.


Make the decision today.



Show the world that your art isn’t just another expensive hobby.




The Joy of Elbow Grease

Putting our heart into it isn’t enough.

That’s merely the price of admission.

To keep the momentum going, to keep the resistance away and
to keep the goal in sight, we have to put our back into it. Real, physical
exertion. Sweat equity. Elbow grease. Getting up earlier than we need, staying
up later than we want, and aching every moment in between.

That’s what life requires of us.

Without it, we’re just watching from the sidelines.

It’s the ugliest part of any endeavor, but it’s also the
most transformational. Something about the movement of our bodies, the calories
we expend and the physical price we pay changes us. Like a yogi stretching her
body in unexplored directions, our exertions create new muscle memory. We come
out on the other side better than we were before. And if we’re lucky enough to
share this experience with someone we love, the intimacy between us deepens,
and our relationship is never the same again.

Go Write a Letter to Someone

When we decided to leave home and relocate across the country, my parents were enthusiastic, empathetic and encouraging.

But they were also concerned.

They knew I had a history of omitting feelings, withholding emotions
and concealing the contents my inner life. And if I planned to live a thousand
miles away, that lack of communication wasn’t going to cut it anymore.

You have to talk to us,
they said.

Not just updates. Not just fill the in the blanks. Not just
curt answers that end the conversation as quickly as possible. But real talk.

What position did I need to put myself in to commit to this?

The first answer was
ritual.
The conscious practice of mindfulness, the ceremonial
acknowledgment of importance and the purposeful experience layered on top of an
activity to focus my intention. I knew that if I could create a sacred
container around an act of communication, I would stick with it.

The second answer was
writing.
My first love, my first language. The one thing in my life I couldn’t
remember not doing. And the only place I could always go to figure out what
mattered to me. I knew that if I could find a way to make writing a part of
this, I would stick with it.

So I did.

Combining the two, I began a weekly ritual of writing letters
to my parents. Nothing fancy. Nothing structured. Just a simple email to purge
my heart and render my truth, until there was nothing left.

Everything that was going on in my life, I shared. Good and
bad. Feelings, desires, fears and questions, nothing was off limits.

The folks loved it. It gave them a window into my heart and
a snapshot of my life. And now, every week, they can’t wait to get that email.

More importantly, I loved it too. It cleansed me. It was a form
of meditation. By writing what I felt, I learned what I knew. And now, every
week, I can’t wait to send that email.

That’s how we make commitment stick.

By putting ourselves in a position that taps into the best,
highest version of ourselves.

The Belonging Sessions 003: Mike Germano of Carrot Creative

Carrot Creative was the first full-service agency specializing in social media strategy, design and development.

I
sat down with Mike Germano, CEO and Co-Founder, and posed three crucial
questions about belonging:

1. Good brands are bought; great brands are joined. Why do you think your employees join yours?

Carrot Creative spends more time on company culture than on
clients. Our employee avatars, for example, are badges of honor. Unlike
uniforms that suppress individuality, these cartoons actually represent
people’s styles. Also, we broke down every part of our company culture and
assigned an employee to take ownership of it. We have committees for
everything: Welcoming new talent, after hours events, even beer. It’s how we give
face to each component of our organization. That’s why people want to join us.


2. The great workplaces of the world have soul. How do you humanize your culture?

We’re the one company that lists everybody who works for us,
what they do and where to find them on social media. Forget about employees
being stolen. My job isn’t to hide my people – it’s to build an awesome culture
that allows great work to happen. Besides, if people do leave, we have an
alumni committee. We even retire employees’ numbers on the wall. Not because
they used to work here, but because they did something great here. That way,
we’re constantly talking about and connecting to former talent. That
dramatically reduced our turnover rate. We’ve only had one person leave in the
past two years.      

3. Belonging is a basic human craving. What do you to remind employees that they’ve found a home?


We’re not a startup. We’re not an agency. We’re a hybrid. Even at the origin of
our organization, we never listened to anybody. We built this company as the
ideal place that we would want to work. And so far, we’ve been right. We
attract top talent, which attracts top clients. The coolest room in our office is
the one with the family tree wall. It has pictures of employee, both current and
past. And it’s a visual reminder that everyone belongs to our family. Especially
in a city where you fight so hard to be cool and hip, this group of nerds wants
you to be yourself. We’ve created a workplace where your craziness and
uniqueness will be embraced.  

Thanks Mike!

Meet the Carrot Creative team here.

Are You a Period Or a Question Mark?

Punctuation changes posture.

And posture changes
everything.

When we live our lives as periods, we crash into the wall of
certainty with eyes of arrogance. And we see only what we want to see.

But.

When we live our lives as question marks, we knock at the
door of mystery with knuckles of curiosity. And we see what needs to be seen.

The choice is ours.

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