How do I approach my coworker or boss with a concern?

FIRST: Pinpoint self-interest.

Let me share four words that changed my life forever:

Nobody cares about you.

I know. It’s hard to wrap your head around that. But it’s true.

People don’t care how good you are – they care how good you’re going to help them become. People don’t care what you’ve done – they care what you’ve learned, and how those lessons can help them. And people don’t care if you’re having a bad day – they care how you’re going to help them have a better day.

Try these Phrases That Payses to let people know that you understand what’s important to them:

1. “I know how much this means to you”
2. “I can see this is important to you”
3. “Jim, you obviously wouldn’t have knocked off that jewelry store if you didn’t love your wife.”

Also, here’s another exercise that will keep you focused on whoever your “them” is. Ask yourself the following questions, each of which can be phrased for individuals or groups of people:

o What is this person’s success seed?
o What is the key to this person’s heart?
o Who does this person need to look good for?
o What is #1 on this person’s Self Interest List?
o What does this person’s self-interest hinge upon?
o Who can hurt this person the most, and how can I address that?
o What underlying objective or goal does this person’s role create?

SECOND: Think on paper.

Writing makes everything you do easier. Writing brings clarity and untangles threads. It’s also a form of self-communication.

So, before officially approaching your coworker or boss, I suggest you collect and organize your thoughts first. SEE what you’re thinking. This makes it easier to articulate everything you want to say when the time comes, almost like you’re tapping into a reservoir of insight.

THIRD: Create a listenable environment.

When you walk into someone’s office or sit down, start off by asking, “Is this a good time for you to listen to me?” If yes, proceed to speak. If not, ask them, “When would be a good time for you to listen to me?” These questions reinforce your commitment to creating listenable environments.

Also, ask yourself: Is this setting conducive to listening? What around you might be distracting someone from listening to you? How could you put yourself in the most listenable position?

FOURTH: Give people the meat.

Look. People are really, really busy. They simply don’t have time to listen to or read everything you’ve got for them.

In short: You need to cut to the chase.

You need to approach your conversations, emails and encounters with a greater mindfulness of the A.D.D., hyperspeed and instant-gratification-nobody-cares-about-you culture in which we live.

In his famous book, The Ten Rules of Writing, Elmore Leonard advised, “If you want to write a great book, just leave out the parts people skip.”

Wow. What a concept. I wonder what would happen if you applied that same rule to emails, phone calls and conversations? (People would probably listen to you a LOT more, that’s for sure!)

Ask yourself: Is what I’m about to say or write something other people would usually skip? If so, take it out. Trim the fat. Become known as a filter. A distiller. A walking Cliff’s Note Machine.

Everybody will want to be around you because people are just DYING for someone to cut all the crap out for them and just give them they good stuff.

REMEMBER: Humans are carnivores and they’re hungry. Feed them with your value. What parts of this email do you need to leave out? Is what you’re about to say rooted in value or vanity? And, if you ran a Body Mass Index of your last presentation, email or conversation, what percentage of it would be pure pudge?

FIFTH: Send a summary. At the end of the conversation or meeting, say this: “Mark, I’ve been writing down a few notes today. When I get back to my office, I’ll send you an email with quick, bullet-point summary of our conversation. That way we’ll be the same page.”

Almost NOBODY will reject this suggestion. Especially a manager. It’s a time saver for them. It’s also bookmark on the conversation so they don’t have to remember anything.

Or, if they DO forget something, they’ll always have a handy reference guide for confirmation. What’s more, on your side of the conversation, this practice shows initiative, demonstrates effective listening and proactive communication, plus it establishes joint-accountability.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What’s your secret for approaching your coworker or boss with a concern?

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For the list called, “26 Rapid-Fire Strategies for becoming the Most Approachable Person in Your Organization,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

NametagTV: Sales Best Practices, Vol. 1

Video not working? Click here for Adobe Flash 9.

Watch the original video on NametagTV!

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Who will meet your next customer before you will?

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For a list called, “12 Ways to Out Service the Competition,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Sick of selling?
Tired of cold calling?
Bored with traditional prospecting approaches?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn how to sell enable people to buy!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

How much money are you losing by being TOO competitive?

I play intramural kickball on Sundays.

The name of our team is Balls of Steel.

The gi-normous aluminum balls are compliments of yours truly.

It’s totally cool. About fifteen of us show up each week – guys AND gals from all walks of life – anywhere between 22-40 years old.

We bring lounge chairs; dogs, radios, snacks, coolers, and we hang out in the park all afternoon and just PLAY.

Great way to spend a Sunday.

During most of our games, we usually end up laughing hysterically at each other. Mainly because we’re ADULTS attempting to play a childhood sport that, for some reason, we were a LOT better at twenty years ago.

Either way, it’s a blast, even though we’re not that good. I think our record last year was like, 5-9. We didn’t event make the playoffs. Oh well.

Anyway, I’ll never forget the first time we played the Blue Team, “The Ball Busters.”

These dudes were monsters.

Not only was their team ALL guys – which seems a little unfair, but whatever – but these macho, super athletic, side-of-beef jocks were unnecessarily competitive.

Like, that had actual PLAYS. Written out. And I’m pretty sure during the third inning; their captain held a team meeting to implement a defensive strategy for minimizing base-runner advancement.

Keep in mind, this is KICKBALL.

As you can imagine, playing a team like this wasn’t much fun. Not just because they beat us 21-4, but also because the unnecessary competitiveness tainted the purity of an otherwise enjoyable game.

And that got me thinking.

I started asking myself questions like:

1. I wonder what other activities are tainted by people’s overly competitive nature?
2. In business, I wonder what our desire to win is preventing us from learning?
3. Where in my own life am I unnecessarily competing with people?

A few answers came to mind:

First, with LISTENING: Ever seen two people who are clearly “competing” to see who can be the funniest, cleverest or smartest in the conversation?

Stee-rike one!

Second, with INDUSTRIES: Ever seen a company so focused on “beating the competition” that they forgot to make a great product and serve their customers?

Stee-rike two!

Third, with COLLEAGUES: Ever get frustrated at another person’s success, then try to “outdo” their accomplishment instead of just being happy for them?

Stee-rike three!

What about you? What would you do differently if you weren’t always trying to WIN? How would you treat people if you weren’t working so hard to BEAT them?

THE POINT IS: Competition has its place. And it’s definitely not on the kickball field.

Healthy competition is good for us. It brings out the best in (most) people.

The danger is when we allow our need for competition to blind us to what’s really important:

Drinking beer on Sunday afternoon in the park looking like a complete idiot.

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
How much money are you losing by being TOO competitive?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
For the list called, “25 Questions to Uncover Your BEST,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Sick of selling?
Tired of cold calling?
Bored with traditional prospecting approaches?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn how to sell enable people to buy!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

The Nametag Guy LIVE: On Passion

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What’s under your fingernails?

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For the list called, “86 Passion-Finding Questions to Get Other People to Talk about What They LOVW,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

How to Start a Revolution

Biography isn’t destiny.

Challenge yourself to abandon popular delusions, banish childhood labels and break the veil.

You need to continue to evolve. You need to deprogram your mind. To detoxify your thinking, disconnect all shackles, drop your training and dismantle old assumptions.

Because if you DON’T do that – if you don’t eliminate old answers, rewrite your scripts and escape narrow definitions – you will never heal the damage the past has done. And you will painfully discover that it is your own rigidity that blocks your growth.

So, screw the neighbors. Screw the competition. Screw the reviews. Grab a ball-peen hammer, smash those destructive idols and instead, start prizing momentum.

It’s time to think new thoughts, turn off traditions, undo rote behaviors and unzip the ego.

It’s time to uproot self-destructive notions and weigh the truth.

Because when you jettison accepted limits, leave familiar territory and override your defaults, you start to pull back the curtain.

An as you recast your assumptions and re-educate your subconscious, you remake your brain. You remake your environment. You resist institutional inertia.

And that’s when the revolution begins.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you a living brochure of your own awesomeness?

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For the list called, “37 Personal Leadership Questions Guaranteed to Shake Your Soul,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Nobody seeing YOUR name anywhere?

Bummer. Perhaps my monthly coaching program would help.

Rent Scott’s Brain today!


How do I approach complainers?

If you work with one of those delightful people whose sole purpose in life is to flood your mental landscape with complaints, consider these five practices for approaching them with comfort and class:

1. Appreciate their value. Yes, complaining is unattractive. Yes, complaining solves nothing. Yes, complaining makes you want to drown yourself in the water cooler.

Still, there is some validity in listening closely to what people are whining about. Often times, these people point out problems everyone else overlooked. What good does this complainer point out?

2. Allow dead air. Nothing makes complainers happier than when another person validates their position and joins them in their self-indulgent pity party. Don’t let this happen to you. Don’t get sucked into their vortex of negativity because they’re insecure about their own life situation.

Instead, try saying nothing. Literally. Complainers HATE dead air. Eventually they’ll get bored and move on. Are you willing to accept silence as a normal part of your conversations?

3. Remove the audience. What’s the best way to handle a screaming child who demands Mike & Ikes in the checkout line of the grocery store? Ignore him. After all, they only make a fuss to get attention.

So, the same parallel can be made for complainers: They’re the kind of people who grumble aloud, then look around the room to see who agrees with them. Validate me! Validate me! They think.

My suggestion: Remove the audience. Don’t make eye contact. Do something else. Or just walk away. No Audience = No Attention = No Reason to Complain. What if there was nobody to complain to?

4. Mirror the responsibility. If there’s one thing complainers hate, it’s taking responsibility. After all, they wouldn’t be complaining if they had any idea how to execute, right?

So, here’s what you do. Next time someone complains to you about some insolvable issue, refuse to take ownership of her problem. Do the exact opposite – mirror the responsibility. Try saying, “So, what are you going to do about it?” or “What do you suggest?” or “Well then, what’s the solution?” How are you calmly putting the ball back in their court?

5. Send it back. When all else fails, snarkiness might be the answer. (Some people just need to hear it!) So, respond with slightly cynical language that refuses to fuel the fire.

For example, next time your coworker, Lauren, stops by your cubicle to whine about how her caveman boyfriend left the seat up and she accidentally fell into the toilet and that’s why she was twenty minutes late getting to work, respond with, “That’s great news!” “Thanks for sharing that!” or “Don’t worry, I read in US Weekly that Urine is the name of Paris Hilton’s new perfume line!”

If neither of those approaches work, you could always try, “Lauren, I can’t believe I just let you waste two minutes of my life. I am now dumber having listening to you. Please go away or else I’m calling security.” Are you willing to fight fire with snark?

REMEMBER: Complaining rarely makes anybody any money.

Except maybe George Carlin.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you approach complainers?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “26 Rapid-Fire Strategies for becoming the Most Approachable Person in Your Organization,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

14 Obligations of All Creative Professionals

1. Create a movement. Not a company. Not a product. Not a service. A movement. This requires a significantly higher level of passion, inner fire and tolerance for ambiguity. The cool part is, it’s more rewarding, more fun and more engaging. The challenging part is, you sleep a lot less. Oh well. Are you building a following?

2. Create a referral-rich environment. Several ways to do this. First, people need to be aware what you DO, what you’re DOING and what you’ve DONE. Second, people need to see you in action. They need to see you being you, doing what you do best. Thirdly, you need to be good. REALLY good. So good that people will gladly wait in line and pay higher prices than they should. So good that people, once they’ve worked with you once, will immediately tell all their friends about you. What percentage of your new business is referral based?

3. Create a world. All you have to do is ask yourself the following powerful question: “If everybody did exactly what you said, what would the world look like?” Spend a few hours brainstorming a half-dozen bullet point answers. I mean literally write them down.

Then, once you’re finished, you’ll have a template, a framework, a foundation, for the type of world you desire to create. And the best part is, now all you need to do, is make sure that everything you do, gives people – your fans, your movement members – the tools to BUILD that world. What new world are you creating?

4. Create clear outcomes. That last example used what I call a “Back to the Future Question.” Other examples include: How would you BE if you were already living your dream? For your life to be perfect, what would have to change? How do you want the world to know you 3-5 years from now? These types of questions accomplish four goals:

(1) they ENABLE people to act as if the desired changed already occurred
(2) they HELP people imagine what they need to become in order for their goals to manifest
(3) they EMPOWER people to speak from the future, then look back to identify the steps that led there
(4) they INSPIRE people to paint a compelling, detailed picture of the desired future and make meaningful strides toward it.

Hey, McFly: Are your outcomes crystal clear?

5. Create despite poverty. OK, so, business sucks. Sales are down. The economy is in the crapper. Fine. Stop complaining about it and just accept it. Say yes to what IS and force yourself to create new ideas anyway. Every day. If needed, channel your frustration into your creativity. Remember: Ideas are your #1 source of income. Remember: Writing is the basis of all wealth. Are you falling in love with your own excuses?

6. Create enduring enthusiasm. The word enthusiasm literally means, “Filled with God.” So, when you say you’ve lost your energy, your spark, your burning desire, I don’t buy it. I don’t believe for a second that, for some strange reason, you’re (now) no longer filled with God. That’s something that never really goes away, whatever your definition of “God” is.

The challenge is, you can’t SEE it because it’s buried under a steaming pile of excuses; you can’t HEAR it because you’ve chosen to stop listening; and you can’t FEEL it because you’re hanging out with losers. What saps your enthusiasm?

7. Create first thing. Get out of bed, get into the shower, grab some hot tea and commence mental puking. First thoughts, best thoughts. Slice open a vein and bleed your truth all over the page. Or canvas. Or dance floor. Or whatever medium you use. The goal is to create your own daily ritual of creativity that serves as a personal time-out, a portable solitude, routine of reflection and a practice of meditation.

When you create “first thing,” this process lends you stability and intimacy. It enables you to ventilate and prioritize your thoughts. It also trains your censor to stand aside so you can get current and catch up on yourself. As Julia Cameron suggest in The Artist’s Way, “Get down on the page whatever it is you are.” Are you starting your day with practice?

8. Create for revenge. For all those jerks that said you were crazy. For all those haters who said your work was no good. For all those idiots who said they could do it WAY better than you. Create cool stuff just to get them back. Wave it in front of their face. Make ‘em smell it. How do you like me now, chumps?

9. Create higher visibility. Stop being a secret. Anonymity is bankruptcy. Stick yourself out there – in person, online, on paper – everyday. Be ubiquitous. Be pleasantly persistent. Be The Observed. Then, BECOME a known entity. BECOME the obvious choice. BECOME That Guy. What are you doing to make your brand even more visible?

10. Create mini Sabbaths. You don’t even have to be religious. You don’t even have to make it a full day. You just need to physically and mentally displace yourself. No work. No thinking. No nothing. Almost like a mini vacation. Anywhere from fifteen minutes to two hours.

EXAMPLES: Go for a walk, grab a cup of tea at Starbucks, break out your guitar and play a few tunes, or head out to your car, dial up the comedy channel on satellite radio, lay back and laugh it up. It’s one of the healthiest practices you could incorporate into your daily life. What’s your Sabbath?

11. Create new connections. That’s all creativity really is, anyway. And all you have to do is, while observing the world, ask yourself questions like, “What else is like this?” “Where else have I seen this before?” and “Now that I have this, what else does this make possible?” Remember: Thinking is LINKING. And myriad connections (always) exist. How many unrelated things have you connected this week?

12. Create new value You HAVE to. Like, every year or so. Your fans, readers, audience members and customers crave it. Sadly, too many artists are unwilling to renovate, redo and renew because they’re too comfortable and too complacent, suckling the teat of their sacred cows. They don’t think they need to renew to be great, and they’re wrong. You must rapidly reinvent yourself, or people will forget about you. When was the last time you brought NEW value?

13. Create positive inflow. To create kick-ass art, begin by flooding your mind, body, soul and life with only positive things. YES books, YES music, YES people, YES food, YES networking events – YES everything! Remember: Negativity isn’t just unattractive; it’s unproductive. How do you stay positive?

14. Create self-evident ideas. First, engage the customer’s BRAIN. Make ‘em think – but not too much. Make it easily digestible, repeatable and defendable. Make ‘em nod in agreement because of your self-evidence and unarguability. Then, engage people’s FISTS. So they think, “Well, I’m sold!” So they exclaim, “OMG, I have to have one of those!” So they declare, “Dude, we gotta get this guy!” How long does it take people to “get” what you do?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
As a Creative Professional, what are your obligations?

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For the list called, “10 Best Books on Creativity You’ve Never Heard Of,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Nobody seeing YOUR name anywhere?

Bummer. Perhaps my monthly, all-access coaching program would help.

Rent Scott’s Brain today!


Namaste Communication: 6 Ways to Honor the Spirit of People You Encounter

“I bow to you.”

That’s the literal translation of the Sanskrit word namaste.

And although it’s primarily used as a greeting or salutation in Indian, Buddhist and Asian cultures/faiths, there’s no reason you can’t embrace the spirit of namaste in your own daily life.

I first experienced this philosophy when I started taking Bikram Yoga. At the end of each class – right before our instructor walked out of the room and left us to our final meditation – she would conclude by saying namaste. Then, as a gesture of respect and gratitude, all of the students would repeat namaste in unison as she exited.

Well, almost all of the students. Personally, I was so exhausted, out of breath and out of fluids that I could barely keep my eyes open, much less articulate a three syllable word.

Eventually – somewhere around my tenth or so class – I finally came around.

That’s when I learned that the word namaste also translates to: “The spirit within me honors the spirit within you.”

And I thought, “Cool. What a beautiful concept. I wonder if there are other areas of life in which we could apply namaste…?”

That was about 18 months ago. Since then, I’ve been collecting a list of practices that transports this sacred philosophy into our daily interactions. (Especially the areas of communication where I need the most work!)

So, as you read each of these examples, I challenge you to ask yourself three questions:

(1) How do I feel when others do this for me?
(2) How well am I currently practicing this in my own life?
(3) What are some ways I could improve the way I practice this in my own life?

1. Embrace their pace. Listening is midwifing. It’s about helping the other person give birth to her own understanding. It’s about facilitating a natural process. Enabling and nurturing the speaker’s rhythm guiding him to make the best choices. Ultimately, the goal is to provide assistance, NOT authority. That way he can see, find, say, do, know, learn and discover by his own accord.

TRY THIS: Resist the need to take over. Respect the speaker’s speed of self-discovery. No pushing. No forcing. Gentle nudging. Embrace their pace. Suspend conversational control. Allow people to safely process their own thoughts and solutions. Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

TRY THIS: Frame answers with alternatives. Instead of giving advice, pose questions so the other person can hear more deeply what his heart is saying. Ask, “What are your options?” This objective response doesn’t take over someone’s problems. It allows him to dig for the answer on his own.

Also, the use of the word “options” indicates multiple possibilities for solutions. What’s more, this response avoids telling someone what they, “should” do, while still offering a potential solution. Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

ASK THIS: How are you inviting discovery? How are you creating a space where people can see the solutions in themselves? And how would people’s perception of your leadership ability change if THEY were the ones who felt like they always discovered the solution?

2. Give people the time and space they need to fully express themselves. In Parker Palmer’s fantastic book about listening and leadership, A Hidden Wholeness, he talks about being hospitable to the soul.

“Make each soul feel safe enough to show up and speak its truth,” he explains. “Create a space that invites the soul to make itself known or you will scare it away and drive that which is original and wild into hiding.”

Wow. Imagine what would happen to your perception as a leader and listener if you practiced that.

TRY THIS: Resist your impulse to fix. Just be. Abandon the arrogance of believing you have the answer to the person’s problem. “It’s not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be honored,” Palmer suggests.

So, don’t try to save people – just be present to them. Stand with simple attentiveness. Your faith in them will bolster their own faith in themselves. Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

TRY THIS: Approachability is just as much about what you don’t do. Examples: Don’t fix. Don’t invade. Don’t evade. Don’t advise. Don’t set straight. Don’t influence. Don’t pressure. Don’t answer. Don’t save. Don’t analyze. Don’t insert opinions and agendas. Don’t advance your self-image.

I know it’s a lot to keep track of, but if you fall victim to these egoic tendencies, you risk contaminating the listening space and scaring people’s truth away. Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

ASK THIS: Are you listening or waiting talk? Are you leading or superimposing your beliefs on others? And how do you plan to create the space people need to exert their distinctiveness?

3. Help people unravel deeper significance. The only way to accomplish this is to create a safe container in which the person can share. Remember: A person’s soul is shy. You don’t want to scare it away. Still, people need to feel essential. Not important. Not valued. Not special. ESSENTIAL.

TRY THIS: Let what people say have an impact on you AND them. For example, when someone makes a profound comment, asks a killer question or juxtaposes words in a beautifully unexpected way, PAUSE. This silent space allows deep, creative ideas to surface. Which gives someone the stage her words deserve. Which gives that person the opportunity to let their original idea truly resonate down to THEIR core.

Like my doctor says, “If you wait long enough, your patient will tell you the diagnosis.” Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

TRY THIS: After holding a person in a loving space where she is compelled to listen to herself, send reinforcements for her unraveling process. Here’s how: When you review your notes from the conversation, extract all of the keepers, nuggets and epiphanies that surfaced and email them to the other person.

In the subject line write, “13 Keepers from Our Conversation Yesterday.” Then write, “Karen, thanks for sharing your powerful insights yesterday. Really got me thinking! I wrote a few of them down for your reference…” Guarantee it will both unravel deeper significance and make her feel essential. Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

ASK THIS: How are you helping people help themselves? Have you accepted silence as a normal part of your conversations? And how are you following up with people to make sure they listen to themselves?

4. Open your receptors to the other person’s subtleties. Listening is about listening FOR things. Even if you don’t agree. Even if you don’t approve. That’s all part of namaste – the honoring. The accepting. The loving.

So, begin by listening for language patterns: Listen for what they say, listen for what they don’t say, listen for what they’re not telling you, listen for what the person is trying to communicate, listen for what thoughts they share first, listen for what thoughts they share last, listen for what is emphasized and listen for what is downplayed.

Also, listen for opportunities: Listen for what is pushing the person, listen for their ideas of how they want things to be, listen for how to remove resistance, listen for what the person would need, listen for others’ interests and listen for areas where people are afraid and hurt.

TRY THIS: Say what you see. Use Phrases That Payses like, “I had an observation,” “I noticed,” and “My intuition is telling me that…” The three secrets are: (1) Observe, don’t accuse; (2) insinuate, don’t impose; and (3) describe, don’t prescribe. Otherwise people won’t open up, become defensive and assume you’re trying to “fix” them. Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

TRY THIS: Count behaviors. If you’re taking notes when working with someone, keep a discreet tally of certain tendencies, i.e., “The number of times he says the word ‘but’” or “The number of sentences he starts with the word ‘I can’t…’”

After a certain point, turn your paper 180 degrees and show them your tally. Explain what it stands for and then wait for a response. This objective, non-judgmental style of feedback is not only respectful, but doesn’t challenge someone’s character or attitude. Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

ASK THIS: What are you listening for? What are you listening with? And what do you plan to do with what you hear?

5. Understand, honor and respond to their unique experience of the world. My definition of empathy is, “The ability to look at the world through different value systems.” This means placing special or unique value in everything people share with you. This means not trying to change the situation, but rather, thinking new ways to experience it that would make a positive difference in how you feel.

TRY THIS: Change your relationship to your emotions. Don’t allow your defensiveness to block your receptivity to someone else’s truth. Especially when there’s a conflict of opinions. Instead, view disagreements as if they were celebrations of ideas. You will listen with a more open (and less defensive) posture.

TRY THIS: Be on the lookout for subtle, external cues about what people are really like. Keep your receptors open for indicators of their core, their truth: What they value, what makes issues important in their lives, what their vision and purpose is, what they treasure and what makes them come alive. Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

ASK THIS: Do your comments honor the other person’s unique feelings, thoughts and emotions? Have you lost track of this conversation because of the inner conversation you’re having with your ego? And what is preventing your ears from opening in this conversation?

6. The correct answer is whatever they learned.. So, honor whatever surfaces. Dance in the moment. Believe that perfection is unfolding right before your eyes. Then, help them embrace this perfection so you both can feel rightness and appropriateness in the encounter.

TRY THIS: Pick something ordinary that they said and brainstorm all the reasons you can of for its perfection. Then email that list to them the day after your conversation. They’ll never forget it. Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

TRY THIS: Acknowledge their rising thoughts and feelings. During a conversation with someone, presence is the secret and anticipation is the enemy. Ask yourself one question: “What is the truth at this particular moment?” That will help keep you present. Namaste. The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.

ASK THIS: What are you missing out on because of the need to be right? How are you saying yes to What Is? And how can you build an environment where wrong answers are impossible?

– – –

REMEMBER: You don’t need to be a Yogi to honor the spirit of those you serve.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How are you practicing namaste?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “53 Not So Obvious Patterns Listeners Need to Listen For,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

The Nametag Guy LIVE: On Writing

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What did you write today?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “9 Things Every Writer Must Do Every Day,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

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