Month: October 2007

NametagTV: Pursue the Passion

Pursue the Passion is a group of three recent college grads who embarked on cross country roadtrips to interview passionate professionals about their career paths.

I’ve been following their story for about a year now.

Their tour recently took them through St. Louis.

I had a chance to meet Brett Farmiloe, James Whiting, Noah Pollock and Zach Hubbell in person.

We had a blast talking about passion, commitment, and of course, not making any money in the beginning! (This pic is from the inside of their (sweet) RV!)

Anyway, totally cool guys with a totally cool idea.

I had some trouble embedding the video into this post, so you can watch the clip on the website of their sponsor, Jobing.com.

Watch the video montage HERE.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What would you be doing if you weren’t doing what you’re doing?

LET SUGGEST THIS…
If you can’t imagine doing anything other that what you’re doing, that’s a good sign!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

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Where to draw the line

Boundaries are saviors.

I know this because I didn’t used to have any.

See, that’s what happens when you wear a nametag 24-7: you open yourself to anyone, anytime, anyplace.

And if you don’t set boundaries for yourself, people will set them for you.

Now, in my 2,539 days of nametagging, I’ve experienced my share of boundary violations:

I’ve had stalkers.
I’ve had time wasters.
I’ve had bloodsuckers.

I’ve had prank phone calls at 2 AM.
I’ve had people start fights with me.
I’ve had hatemail and death threats.

I’ve had cult members attempt to persuade me.
I’ve had religious zealots attempt to convert me.

I’ve had dozens of salespeople try to suck me into their pyramid schemes.

I’ve had hundreds of people walk right up to me and rip my nametag right off my shirt.

I’ve had complete strangers walk up to me in the middle of airports and physically poke me in the chest.

All of this from wearing a nametag!

(I mean, wouldn’t that get to YOU after a while?)

THE POINT IS: when it comes to approachability, setting boundaries is a MUST.

Is IS possible to be TOO approachable.

Especially when you’re devoting your time to unaligned pursuits.
Especially when your precious time, physical space and personal safety are at stake.

AND THAT’S THE CHALLENGE: figuring out where you draw the line.

In her bestselling book, Where to Draw the Line, Anne Katherine defines a boundary as “a limit that promotes integrity.”

I think that’s a great definition.

Because ultimately, that’s what boundaries are about: staying true to yourself.

Devoting your time, attention, energy and focus to pursuits that match your interests.

So, straight from the mouth of a (formally) boundary-deficient person, here are a few things I’ve learned about boundaries over the years.

NOTE: I am not a therapist, psychologist or a PhD.

I am a practitioner. Just a guy who’s learned how to draw the line.

Hope this helps!

Boundaries REINFORCE integrity.
You elicit more respect because people respond to policies.

Boundaries DEFINE who you are (and who you aren’t).
Which helps you become the world’s expert on yourself.

Boundaries FREE you to be who you are.
There’s nothing more liberating than developing the strength to say no.

Boundaries IDENTIFY your responsibilities.
Because you’re not just saying no to others, you’re saying YES to yourself.

Boundaries TEACH people how to treat you.
This assures that boundary violations won’t occur again.

Boundaries DEVELOP your discipline and maturity.
People will admire your stick-to-itiveness, commitment and consistency.

Boundaries HELP you avoid manipulative people and situations.
As Mr. Miyagi once said, “The best way to block a punch – no be there.”

AND HERE’S THE BEST PART: boundaries are reciprocal.

This goes back to the etymology of the word approachability, which derives from the Latin apropiare, meaning, “To come nearer to.”

So, in your relationships (with friends, family members, colleagues and customers) here’s how it plays out:

1. When you know your boundaries, you know who you are.
2. When you know who you are, you feel more confident.
3. When you feel more confident, you aren’t threatened by other people’s differences.
4. When you aren’t threatened by other people’s differences, they’re not threatened by yours.
5. When people aren’t threatened by each other, they accept each other.
6. When people accept each other, the rules change.

Boundaries. Are. Saviors.

Got it?

Cool.

Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a strange man at my front door holding an ice pick who says he’s an old friend of my mom’s. Better go see what he wants…

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you draw the line?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Share your best boundary management technique here!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

Are you a friend of The Nametag Network?

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How to use an open book to open a conversation

Looking for a GREAT way to start a conversation with a stranger?

(Without talking about the weather, traffic or the long line you’re stuck in?)

Try making a reference to the book they’re reading.

It’s easy. It’s approachable. And it’s a great way to discover the Common Point of Interest.

NOTE: before you do this, remember a few ground rules:

1. If the book addresses a controversial, dangerous or potentially awkward topic, don’t do it. This could backfire BIG time. (Especially books like The Kama Sutra and 101 Ways to Murder Complete Strangers on Airplanes.)

2. As with any approach to a stranger, first take note of the person’s posture and non-verbals. If she doesn’t look receptive to casual conversation, don’t bother her. People’s personal bubbles deserve respect. Waiting until the reader takes a break is usually a good time to jump in. That way you’re not interrupting.

OK! Now that you’ve decided to say hi, here are six ways to use an open book to open conversation:

1. How do you like The Da Vinci Code so far? A positively framed, open-ended question. Gives people permission to open up.

2. I’ve heard that book is great! What do you think? Also positive AND compliments their taste.

3. You’re lucky to be reading that book; I just finished it and could read it again! Excites them about their book.

4. Excuse me; I was actually thinking about buying that book. Would you recommend it? Appeals to a human being’s inherent helpful nature. What’s more, it’s kind of hard to get shut down with this approach.

5. So, what’s the best thing you learned from that book so far? Good for non-fiction and business books.

6. Don’t you just love Norman Vincent Peale? Who doesn’t?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you use open books to open conversations?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Try one of these today!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

Are you a friend of The Nametag Network?

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Detach from outcomes, pt. 2

(To read part 1, click here.)

When you detach from outcomes…

You relax more.
Which lowers your guard.
Which lowers other people’s guards.
Which enables you to produce better quality work.

AND HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: this principle can be applied to various disciplines.

In the world of SALES:

o DON’T focus on … persuading, manipulating or reaching quota.
o DO focus on … serving, solving and delivering value.

And you WILL sell a lot.

In the world of CREATING ART:

o DON’T focus on … perfection, recognition or even selling your work.
o DO focus on … finding flow, being yourself and listening to your Muse.

And you WILL create great stuff.

In the world of MARKETING:

o DON’T focus on … being cool, interrupting people or manufacturing a need.
o DO focus on … broadcasting your uniqueness, telling a remarkable story and building community.

And you WILL spread the word.

In the world of CONVERSATION:

o DON’T focus on … networking, controlling or influencing.
o DO focus on … establishing comfort, maintaining authenticity and growing bigger ears.

And you WILL make valuable connections.

So, whatever you’re doing, do it for the process. The journey. For the love of the game.

Detach from outcomes.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you focus on process, not product?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Share your best tip here!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

Are you a friend of The Nametag Network?

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Grow Bigger Ears: Don’t Add Too Much Value

Adding value is essential to growing bigger ears.

But be careful.

Because it’s (really) easy to add TOO MUCH value to a conversation.

FOR EXAMPLE: imagine your colleague, Karen, is enthusiastically telling you about her great new idea. She’s excited, optimistic and really “getting into” her explanation.

So, a few seconds into the conversation, you can’t help but interrupt with suggestions to make it better.

“You know that’s a great a idea Karen! Here’s what you should do. Start by going to this website and buy these two products. Then, talk to Mark, he’s good with this kind of stuff. Oh, and instead of selling ads online, you know what would be a BETTER idea? Well, one time I told one of MY clients…”

And all of the sudden, the momentum is reversed.

And Karen is thinking, “Wait, um, wasn’t this MY idea?”

Well, it WAS, until you hijacked the conversation by trying to add too much value to it!

Which means you did three things wrong:

1. You weren’t listening — you were too busy trying to contribute.
2. You weren’t collaborating — you were too busy trying to prove yourself.
3. You weren’t helping — you were too busy trying to take ownership of someone else’s idea.

BIG mistake.

Because even if you DID make Karen’s idea a little better, you still took away some of her ownership of that idea -– which made her feel A LOT worse.

Not a good trade off.

AND HERE’S THE PROBLEM: some people don’t even realize THAT they try to add too much value.

(I should I know: I used to be one of them!)

SO, REMEMBER THIS: while adding too much value is not always intentional, it’s still an unconscious display of disrespect.

And the people you’re engaging with will know it.

Because it’s rude, frustrating and unapproachable.

So, if you want to avoid adding too much value to your conversations, remember these DO’s and DONT’s:

DON’T … match or one-up people’s points.
DON’T … try to solve the problem too quickly.

DO … give them the glory.
DO … trust in your ability to add value after (not during) listening.

DON’T … feel the need to prove yourself every ten seconds
DON’T … respond too soon or rush to give answers.

DO … allow the speaker to set the pace of the conversation.
DO … let the other person fill in the empty spaces.

DON’T … impose your own structure on what is being said.
DON’T … project your own meaning onto the speaker.

HERE’S YOUR CHALLENGE: post these caveats in a visible location somewhere in your office. That will help you become more mindful of this dangerous interpersonal habit.

AND REMEMBER: listening is not the same thing as waiting to talk.

So, next time a colleague comes to you with a new idea or a business challenge, don’t try to add too much value to the conversation.

Grow bigger ears by biting your tongue.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you trying to add too much value to the conversation?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Share your best three tips for monopolizing the listening.

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

Are you a friend of The Nametag Network?

Read more blogs!
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The three types of mentors

Who are your mentors?

Notice I said mentor(s), not mentor.

That’s because there are three types: casual, formal and indirect.

The word mentor first appeared in Homer’s Odyssey as character who served as a wide advisor.

My first “wise advisor” (other than my Dad) came in the form of a high school English teacher named William Jenkins.

It started with the occasional after-class discussion.

Mid-semester, it blossomed into a friendship.

By the time I graduated, he was my full-time go-to guy for advice on college and relationships.

And by the time I entered the Real World and started my career as a writer, he became the professional resource I needed to further my career.

That’s an example of a CASUAL mentor.

You chat informally.
You meet on an as-needed basis.
You have lunches, hang out and take walks together.

They talk; you listen.
They share ideas; you write them down.
They ask tricky questions; you spend months pondering the answers.

Then there’s a FORMAL mentor.

You meet on a regular basis.
You have structured discussions.
You set goals, parameters and expectations for the relationship.

They give you assignments; you return with homework.
They expect a certain degree of commitment; you do what they say.
They (sometimes) charge a fee; you gladly pay them for their wisdom.

Lastly, there’s an INDIRECT mentor.

You rarely meet in person.
You learn by reading and gleaning.
You might not even know each other.

They write books; you read, highlight and learn.
They do stuff really well; you watch, take notes and relate.
They set the standard in your industry; you follow their lead.

Three kinds of mentors. Three kinds of wise advisors.

Casual, direct and indirect.

And you need them all.

Because one mentor is no longer enough.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How many mentors do you have?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Tell us about them here!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

Are you a friend of The Nametag Network?

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Lowest common denominator thinking

Call it optimism.
Call it glass half-full.
Call it a positive attitude.

Because at the lowest common denominator, there’s always ONE thing you can get out of everything.

This represents a sort of “takeaway attitude” you need to have about business, about life, about everything.

I call it Lowest Common Denominator Thinking.

For example, let’s say you just spent the last three hours reading the latest best-selling marketing book.

And you thought it sucked.

Ask yourself, “Did I at least get ONE nugget, ONE idea, ONE quotation, ONE thing from that book?”

If the answer is yes, congrats! You’ve just discovered the Lowest Common Denominator. Which, when remembered, written down and applied, should be worth the price of the book and the time you spent reading it.

Here’s another example. Let’s say you just finished attending a lecture at your local college campus.

And you thought it sucked.

Similarly, ask yourself, “Well, it might have been boring, but the one thing I still took away was…”

If your answer is a worthwhile idea that wouldn’t have popped into your mind without attending that lecture, good on ya! You’ve discovered the Lowest Common Denominator.

One final example.

You crawl into bad at about 11:30 PM.

And you thought your day sucked.

Ask yourself, “Yeah, but did I at least do ONE thing that was cool, help ONE person get better, accomplish ONE highly valuable activity or experience ONE moment that validated my existence?”

If your answer is yes, prepare to sleep well. Because you’ve discovered the lowest common denominator.

Here are a few more Phrases That Payses to enhance your LCD Thinking:

“Well, if anything, at least I learned…”
“The one thing I got out of that was…”
“Although it wasn’t my favorite, I still found a way to…”

Call it optimism.
Call it glass half-full.
Call it a positive attitude.

Because at the lowest common denominator, there’s always ONE thing you can get out of everything.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What’s your takeaway attitude?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Share your philosophy here!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

Are you a friend of The Nametag Network?

Read more blogs!
Rent Scott’s Brain!
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Make a name for yourself here…

A few incomplete sentences that need revision

1. “If you build it, they will come.”

ORIGINATOR: Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams.

WHY IT’S INCOMPLETE: because just building it is not enough. You’ve got to get people talking about it.

A BETTER VERSION: “If you build it consistently, remarkably and with unique value … they MIGHT come.”

REMEMBER: doing business without marketing is like winking in the dark.

2. “Positive thinking begets success.”

ORIGINATORS: The Bible, Normal Vincent Peale and James Allen

WHY IT’S INCOMPLETE: because just thinking about is not enough. You’ve got to work your ass off too!

A BETTER VERSION: “Positive thinking PLUS positive doing equals success.”

REMEMBER: ideas are free, but execution is priceless.

3. “Think and grow rich!”

ORIGINATOR: Napoleon Hill.

WHY IT’S INCOMPLETE: thinking without action is self-delusion.

A BETTER VERSION: “Think and ACT … and grow rich.”

REMEMBER: action is eloquence.

4. “What’s in a name?”

ORIGINATOR: Shakespeare.

WHY IT’S INCOMPLETE: because you have more than just your name. You have your name PLUS what people say after it.

A BETTER VERSION: “What in AND after a name?”

REMEMBER: if you don’t make a name for yourself, someone will make one for you.

5. “Ask and you shall receive.”

ORIGINATOR: The Bible.

WHY IT’S INCOMPLETE: the world isn’t an order form. Asking only gets you so far.

A BETTER VERSION: “Ask and ACT … and you shall receive.”

REMEMBER: never underestimate the power of working your ass off.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What famous quotations would you re-write?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Post your edits here!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

Are you a friend of The Nametag Network?

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Rent Scott’s Brain!
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Make a name for yourself here…

Be clearly superior

Be clearly superior.

In other words: be the –est.

The finest.
The fastest.
The coolest.
The bestest.
The craziest.
The greatest.
The funniest.
The smartest.
The smoothest.
The friendliest.

Be the –est.

Be clearly superior.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What’s your “-est”?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Share it with us here!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

Are you a friend of The Nametag Network?

Read more blogs!
Rent Scott’s Brain!
Download articles and ebooks!
Watch training videos on NametagTV!

Make a name for yourself here…

Surrender creative control

I hate to say it, but you’re really no big deal.

Sure, you’re the one who PHYSICALLY writes, paints or creates the art.

But it’s not all you.

ARTISTS MUST RECOGNIZE: creativity is the product of a million unseen helping hands.

Call it The Muse. Call it God. Call it Intuition.

But whatever these Powers are, they’re stronger and smarter than you.

So you must respect them. Because they can make or break you.

And you must align yourself with them. Because you are at their service.

As creativity guru Mihlay Csikszentmihlay says, “The Muse communicates through a glass darkly. She has your number, but your don’t have hers.”

Therefore, your role as an artist is partly about being a receptor.

A facilitator. A carrier. A lens.

Someone who listens, takes dictation, attends to the stream of mental experiences…

And creates what wants to be created.

In The War of Art (best book of all time), Steven Pressfield explains, “The professional is acutely aware of all the intangibles that go into inspiration, and out of respect for them, he lets them work.”

SO, THAT’S THE CHALLENGE: How do you surrender creative control?

In my experience as an artist, I’ve discovered several tools for letting the Powers do their thing:

1. Gratitude. Start by grounding yourself artistic humility. Every time you write something – good or bad – give thanks. For the idea AND for the process.

Expressing gratitude to the intangibles will help you get over yourself. NOTE: Avoid the temptation to be like those blocked artists who do nothing by complain about their lack of inspiration. Less complaining, more thanking.

WRITE THIS DOWN: when you become grateful, you become FULL … of great ideas.

2. Morning Pages. First thing in the morning, start a blank document. Spew out every single thought and/or idea that’s running through your mind. Keep writing until you’ve filled up three pages.

Then, save it in a folder called “Morning Pages.” This exercise will help you to listen to what The Muse is trying to tell you. Which will “dump the junk.” Which will get your creative shanks out. Which will enable your best work to surface. (Read more on Morning Pages here.)

WRITE THIS DOWN: creating art is about LISTENING.

3. Daily appointments with yourself. This is the perfect way to create daily alignments with your Powers. Every day after your Morning Pages, isolate yourself. Take 15-30 minutes to lay a positive mental foundation for the rest of the day.

Use music, candles, journals, goal sheets, personal mission statements, positive reading material, headphones, pens, coffee and anything else you need to make this appointment the most comfortable. (Read more on Daily Apps here.)

WRITE THIS DOWN: the most important appointment every day is the one with yourself.

If you can practice these three principles every single day, three things will happen.

1. You’ll accept the fact that it’s not YOU creating the art.
2. You’ll humble yourself to the Powers that be.
3. You’ll create (er, dictate) higher quality and higher quantity art that ever before.

Surrender creative control.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you let Art do its thing?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Share your best surrender secrets here!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

Are you a friend of The Nametag Network?

Read more blogs!
Rent Scott’s Brain!
Download articles and ebooks!
Watch training videos on NametagTV!

Make a name for yourself here…

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